(This is a skit recreating and poking fun at an alternate version where Slash would have her 20th birthday. Recorded in 2025)
Clock strikes 4:15am
Kenzo bursts into the room, opening the door wide with bright corridor lights shining straight in, as well as releasing all the cold A/C air, shrieking, “WAKE THE HELL UP SLASH, YOU’RE LATE FOR GYM SESSION!”
Slash, cozily cuddling her stuffed puppy, stretches softly.
“h..huh g-gym..? thought it’s friday…” She squeaks as she covers her face from the blinding lights.
“IT’S SATURDAY. HURRY UP AND GET YOUR THICK ASS OUTTA BED.” Kenzo interrupted.
“im on my period.. can i-”
“You’re not allowed to do that. Come now.”
Scene cuts to Slash dragging herself to a fully lit indoor basketball court with gym equipment in it. Literally that because it’s a skit. There’s no gyms at Boston Labs lmao.
“Uuugghhh, I haven’t had breakfast yet,” Slash moaned, walking sluggishly.
“Neither did we.” Kenzo replied.
“Then why is Aunt Theresa eating?”
Cuts and zooms in on Theresa on top of the retractable telescopic seats eating a burrito.
“Uh, because she’s already been a good girl and did her workoutshow did she get up ther-”cut
“Uh, okay? then why is Kyiv not in gym attire?” Slash pointed at Kyiv.
“Well, because she’s given her work to Lydi-” *Massive thousand-pound weights land right beside Kenzo, making both of them to break their necks and look into the sky at the 12 feet version of the white fluffy dragon.
“Oh, don’t look at me, guys, just delivering the weights.” Lydia said as she turned around and walked away, also not in gym attire.
Slash looks at the massive thousand-pound weights on the floor, and back to Kenzo.
“How the hell am I supposed to lift that? That is bigger than my body!”
“You’ve already lifted bigger long ago.” Kenzo replied, deadpan.
“Yeah, but that was like… when I was god?? I’m already having trouble supporting my breasts now.” Slash retaliated.
“Honestly, mmm. Can’t relate.” Theresa commented, now somehow sitting on the other side of the court with the lights out while munching her burrito.
“how did she do that” Kenzo muttered.
Cuts to Slash doing the Family Guy Death Pose.
“Is she dead.” Kyiv asks, unconcerned while leaned over Slash’s body.
“Nah, she’s just taking a nap.” Kenzo responds, also unconcerned.
*cuts to Slash waking up on her bed again. She checks her phone this time, seeing it’s friday. She storms out of her bed, but also her body is sore so she just limps.”
“KENZO, YOU BITCH IT’S FRIDAY TODAY” Slash screamed as she approached Kenzo in the corridor.
Kenzo turns around with a fruit cake, with a candle lit.
“wh- What is this?”
“It’s your birthday, happy birthday, Slash!” Kenzo replied.
“It’s my birthday? When’s my birthd-” She cuts herself off as she looks at her phone. “Oh,” she said. “But I wanted chocolate cake…”
“Nope, you’re having fruit cake, you fat.”
“im on my period today, though.”
“Not allowed.”